• Judge Agrees That People for Portland's Ballot Measure is Unconstitutional People for Portland's proposed ballot measure has been ruled unconstitutional, and that it can't move forward to the November ballot. (Saaaad trommmbone.) MOTOYA NAKAMURA / MULTNOMAH COUNTY • POP QUIZ PDX: It's Our Most SCANDALOUS Local Trivia Quiz Yet! "Why, I NEVER!" Get ready for the most SCANDALOUS edition yet of POP QUIZ PDX, featuring hilarious trivia Qs about local conservative dimwits, the guardians of Chinatown, and some very, VERY naughty individuals! 😲 George Marks / Getty Images • Portland DA Seeks to Revive a Conservative Policing Tactic With ‘Neighborhood Prosecutors’ Multnomah County DA Schmidt proposes rebranding an old practice that paints prosecutors as social workers, worrying local public defenders and civil rights advocates. NATHAN HOWARD / GETTY IMAGES • Police Detective Hit With Third Lawsuit for Treatment of Protesters Portland police detective Erik Kammerer is being sued for the third time (!!) for for the way he has treated Portland protesters. Doug Brown

• Secretary Fagan Confident "Every Vote Will Be Counted" in Clackamas County Election Clackamas County Clerk Sherry Hall has FINALLY delivered a timeline on when we can expect results from the county's May 17 election—and after a third attempt she has also FINALLY accepted help from the state. MOTOYA NAKAMURA / MULTNOMAH COUNTY • THE TRASH REPORT! In this week's gossip / weird story round-up, THE TRASH REPORT: an affordable home with dragon stairs, Julia Fox's joot-wearin' grocery strut, and your regularly scheduled reminder that Jordan Peterson isn't a medical doctor. Let's dig in! RODIN ECKENROTH/GETTY IMAGES • Japanese-Style Rice Lagers Are the Latest Frontier for Pacific Northwest Craft Brewers Inspired by Ecliptic's Moon Room Series rice lagers, Brian Yaeger takes us through the Pacific Northwest's current obsession with "simple, elegant, and perpetually refreshing" Japanese-style craft lager beers. COURTESY OF FERMENT • Savage Love: Emergency Quickies Oh no! Dan Savage's laptop is on the fritz, so his loyal readers ride to the rescue with a TON of sexy (sometimes *painful*) short questions in this week's SAVAGE LOVE! Joe Newton

WOW, THAT IS A LOT OF GOOD READIN'. I hope you didn't have any other plans this weekend! Dig in, and remember: Producing all this hard work costs moolah—so please consider contributing to the Mercury to keep it all coming! Thanks!